About Me

So I figure I mind as well start off by telling you a little bit about myself and my back story.

I was an overweight kid growing up and I also grew very rapidly and was at my adult height of 5'10" by the time I was ten years old.  Being wider and taller than everyone by more than double their size was hard.  I feel like I missed out on a lot of things because of it.  I went to Catholic school so at least we all wore the same uniforms, even if mine had to be custom made.  I grew up with a lot of love surrounding me: my parents, my grandma and even my great-grandparents.

I may not know what is like to wear a bikini, but love - I know that very well.

I had several health issues growing up - mainly a diagnoses of rheumatoid arthritis, prolonged qt syndrome (which is heart related) and I also got Lyme's disease four times.  My doctor told my mom I may go to school one day and not come home.  Needless to say this freaked her out and therefore my life was not very physical.  My dad was, and is, an avid cyclist and is thin to the bone while my mom is even more overweight than me.  I'm a full grown, married adult, and I need to stop pretending that being at this weight is ok.

My weight went up and down in my early adulthood.  I was at my heaviest in 2006 at age 22 and my size 28 pants were getting tight.  Thankfully, it never got past that.

Despite this, I somehow managed to find the love of my life and he proposed to me in Disney World in 2010.  I felt like a princess on my wedding day in 2011.  I had ordered my wedding dress a whole size smaller than the day that I ordered it.  Of course the people at David's Bridal warned me against this, saying that every bride under the sun thinks they are going to lose enough weight to do something like that.  I was determined.  But did I succeed?

Yes I did!

I was one of the few that actually fit into the smaller size.  My dress was a plus size 18 at David's Bridal and I had lost about 20lbs in order to fit into it.  However, I did not stay that size very long.  My grandma, who was like a mother to me and lived with us, died 10 days before my wedding.  This destroyed my whole family and it was with a heavy heart that I walked down the aisle.

It didn't end there.

Three weeks to the day after my wedding, my beloved father-in-law passed away from melanoma at the young age of 50.  This then destroyed my new family as well.  As we entered into our marriage, our families were torn apart and falling apart from both sides.  It was very stressful.  I gained back the 20lbs I lost for my wedding, and then some.  And I never recovered.

Until now.

My husband and I finally moved out of my parents house and into our own first apartment, a couple states and a ferry ride away to a place where we don't have family or friends.  It's scary.  I have started a job and my husband has gone back to school.  It's been about 6 months since we moved here and I finally feel like I am getting my barrings and a routine down.  I work 50 hours a week and live more than an hour away from my job so finding time to work out and plan out nutrition is difficult.

But I can do it.

I feel like I have finally healed enough of my emotions now to try and heal my body.  My husband and I want to be parents and we certainly are not getting any younger.  But that, perhaps, is for a different post.